Sorry. No tight rope walking, no risky investments, no dragon slaying or channel swimming. All I did was attend a writer's group for the first time. The people were friendly, the venue was fantastic, and even though I had to leave before I wanted to (work, deadlines, etc.) the overall experience was kind of like jumping into the pool and finding out the water was just fine. I think it will be a productive group to be connected to, and I think I can learn a lot from them.
And this morning, it's left me with an interesting thought. I resisted this very thing, for...well, for years, frankly. So I started looking at why.
It mostly boiled down to fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of someone who would swoop down and take my ideas (wow, do I get the paranoid of the week award, or what?) fear of...shadows, mostly. I thought I was past that craziness, but this part of my life is sacred.
That uncovered another layer, no real shocker there. I want to protect this part of my life, this writing thing, because it's my core. The strange part of that is I can take it. I've faced rejection (what writer hasn't?), I've faced disappointment, I've faced my share of damned red dragons lurking behind doorways.
It's probably more than just that my writing life is so important to me. It's also that since I've worked for myself, I've really allowed myself to become isolated. The internet has been my main connection to the world. So I've been finding ways to get back out there, talk to actual people.
This makes me sound like some kind of weird hermit. I'm not. But the truth is, working from home means a lot of my social circle has shrunk. Some of that is ok. But I'm going to get better at what I do by finding some other folks out there who can help me be better at what I do.
And at the end of the day, there is no substitute for a good old fashioned conversation.
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